Growing up

Growing up seems scary.

I used to be terrified. Whether it was me growing up, seeing my friends grow up, watching my parents grow up – I was sad about it all. You might not think this but I think everyone unconsciously knows this – we’re scared our parents will go away forever.

The first thing to do is accept time. It took me ridiculously long to accept time. If it’s something I can’t change, I don’t always let go of it. I don’t dwell on things at ALL, but when it’s about time, that’s the worst.

I finally stopped being afraid this year. ACTUALLY in 2014 when I turned 18. I realised I didn’t have to MAKE myself feel older, because I felt what I felt – and I just didn’t feel any different.

THE MAIN THING is that you don’t have to lose who you are to be ‘mature’. I noticed from YouTube comments that 30 year olds and any other age are HARD to tell the difference between because they HAVEN’T CHANGED.

I feel like after a certain age, people are all smart enough to form the basic wordbank and they end up sounding the same. There ARE older people that type condescendingly and MORE LIKE what we would expect ‘older people speak’ to be like

but the thing is that our bodies change. The only reason I am the person that I am today is because I didn’t lose my happiness from when I was young. I didn’t fully regain it yet but I think I told you guys about the letter I wrote to myself when I was young. The one that told me  to ‘never change’ because I saw so many older people suffering from depression and being sad.

My younger self guides me, so PLEASE LET IT GUIDE YOU TOO!

Would you like who you’ve become? As long as you are not burdened by what you think being mature or having responsibilities are, you will no longer be afraid of growing up. Your body will change, but even as you learn new things, don’t change who you are or who you want to be. You can grow to be better, but you have to think about yourself and who you want to be. Who you truly want to be.

Whoever reads this, I want you to cast aside your age. I used to think it was horrible that one day I’d have to say that I WAS 30 EW

but that’s not bad. I don’t feel weird saying these words even at 18 years old. Remember  it’s only a number and that’s true. You should focus more on what you learn in each year than the fact that time is passing.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s okay to stay the person that I am, but then I remember the letter and I no longer lose my way. If you don’t know who you are, write down who you want to be and let your letter remind you.

I also watched the anime ‘free: eternal summer’ HAHA and you might wonder what this has to do with anything, but the vibrant colours and the happiness in their lives made me write this. Sometimes I wish I grew up in another country, because it seems like everything is so different like the HAPPY HAPPY CHILDHOOD SWIMMING COMPETITIONS and all these festivals which we in England don’t really value that much – but the amount of happiness that I feel is really high when I watch this. The culture is different, and it’s kind of weird if you think about a country as a whole being happier than the other.

The show is just all about comraderie and relationships (obviously swimming ), and now I just realise that the characters have hardly changed since their childhood, which makes me happy. They’re wiser, but they are HAPPY which is what a lot of people aren’t.





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